


Colored Twine Twists

by ineverwritebutwhatever



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Also I know that Magpies don't actually collect things, Basically, But thats only because I said so, Canon Divergence, Canon Typical Horror, Canon-Typical Worms (The Magnus Archives), Crack Treated Seriously, I repeat, In my defense though I've been thinking a lot about fairytales lately, Jon is a Bird, Jon is a bird who was cursed to be a human, Jon is a bit nicer than in canon, M/M, Okay I actually can't, Or go after shiny things, SO, So Who Cares, Thinking about episode 14, a bit OOC, also I really like nonbinary Jon, also fix it for a lot of things, also pov switching occassionally, and also about birds, and like canon typical horror, and short chapters, and there's more generalized magic outside of the fears, briefly mentioned, but birds don't normally turn into people, but most just assume he him pronouns and they don't mind, canon horror events I suppose, i can explain, i don't want them to die i love them, it is in here!!!, like literally - Freeform, mild child abuse, so chaos basically
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26694403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineverwritebutwhatever/pseuds/ineverwritebutwhatever
Summary: Jonathan Sims is not a person, or no that's not quite right. They are now, but they used to be a Magpie.And now they're an Archivist.(This is crack that I am treating very seriously.)Wherein Jon used to be a bird, and is now just doing their best to keep their assistants alive. Its a lot for anybody to handle. Especially when they've started falling in love with their assistant, and can't seem to stop leaving little odds and ends on his desk.also please read the tags. There is canonical horror stuff, and although this is ship crack its still based on a horror podcast. If you have ANY questions about content warnings PLEASE just shoot me a message.
Relationships: Jonathan Sims/ Martin Blackwood
Comments: 42
Kudos: 82





	1. Set Up

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for joining me on this strange journey I've decided to start on, and I hope you'll enjoy.  
> Elias POV for this first chapter, just setting the scene  
> Also to anyone who is waiting for any of my other fics, I'm sorry, but I got this idea, and it now lives in my brain absolutely rent free.
> 
> Also I don't think there's anything especially bad in this fic, but if you have any trigger concerns please drop me a message.

Elias sat behind his desk, and allowed himself a small moment to feel extraordinarily pleased with himself. He’d only recently come to a final decision about who should take up the newly available position of head Archivist, but he already had a good feeling about it. 

Granted the whole situation with Gertrude had turned out… unfortunately.

Gertrude had somehow managed to be both too competent in all the wrong ways and a completely ineffective Archivist. She was far too bloodthirsty for one, killing Avatars instead of being marked by them, and disrupting rituals sometimes without even getting into the line of fire. And what made it all worse was that in the past years she’d completely destroyed the organization of the archives.

The whole basement being left in a horrible state of disorder and chaos, which could take years to fix. No, Gertrude had not made a good Archivist. Honestly sometimes Elias wondered if she would have been better suited to the hunt the way she had gone around disrupting rituals and killing Avatars. Especially since so many of the Hunt actually seemed to start off as well meaning monster hunters.

However, even if it had been a failure with Gertrude, Elias was determined to at the very least do better this time around. If nothing else he’d learned what he didn’t want in an Archivist. Although he could say he’d learned a great deal about why rituals tended to fail. So it was with the very specific goal of not having to shoot his new Archivist three times to keep them down, that Elias had began his search.

The pickings had been a bit slim when Elias had first gone looking for likely candidates, which was frustrating. Sasha James of course was who Gertrude had picked for her successor. And while Elias could admit that it would be nice to have an Archivist with the necessary qualifications it was simply too much of a risk to use anyone who had been Gertrude’s pick. 

Especially considering she already had experience with the artifacts. Not only that though, but she also had been smart enough to quit Artifact research before she’d gotten killed, while still keeping all her limbs, and sanity in one piece. Which meant she was either very lucky, or very smart, and either of those would present their own problems. Which meant actually getting her marked in order to get The Watcher’s Crown going would very probably be difficult. At least without the necessary marks actually outright getting her killed. Which would only leave him right where he started/

No, Sasha James simply wouldn’t work.

There were a few other candidates of course. The institute had quite a few departments which could provide good candidates. There were even a few potentials that were somewhat promising. Who’d had had close calls with the supernatural, or seemed to have an aptitude for sticking their nose where it doesn't belong. 

However in the time Elias spent looking, there was always something wrong with them when Elias looked at them too closely. One had been almost immediately discarded because they simply had too many family members that they were close to. Another had encountered the supernatural, and even been marked by The Slaughter, but the experience had left them far too scared to be useful. And yet another candidate who’d been marked by The Stranger and been left with far too much rage to ever be a useful Archivist, and besides that they were far too sociable. 

Then inspiration struck during a performance review of all things. Somehow having escaped Elias’s notice until now was a researcher already marked by The Web, and The Flesh. The fact that he was even alive meant that he must be lucky enough to stand a chance, and the fact he’d been marked meant he wasn’t lucky enough to get out unscathed. 

Even better yet was the man's personality. Just from what Elias managed to observe in their short interactions, and watching him. The man was taciturn, rude, and only seemed to have one or two coworkers who actually seemed to tolerate him. As well as that it seemed he didn’t have any friends or family outside of the workplace either. Which meant if all went according to plan there was no one to worry about him, and if it somehow did all go a bit sideways it wouldn’t be a huge deal for him to simply disappear along with Gertrude.

Yes, Jonathan Sims would be a great candidate.


	2. So you accidentally agreed to be an Archivist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon really does try not to get tangled up in Archiving, but unfortunately is bad at turning down promotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Chapter two! Genuinely didn't know if this was gonna get written but here I am!  
> To the one person who commented on the first chapter, I see you and I love you  
> ALSO  
> sorry this ended up mainly being more exposition, however I have literally never written anything in a concise manner, ever, in my life.

Jon knew there was something wrong with The Magnus Institute almost as soon as they stepped onto the premises. The feeling of being watched like a bug under a microscope overwhelming them as soon as they stepped over the threshold of the squat building.

It was all that they could focus on as they had waited for a job interview that they were sorely regretting taking now. The need to flee before the interview could even start making them twitchy and uncomfortable. Leg shaking nervously while waiting in one of the chairs outside the offices. The small feathers hidden under carefully folded shirt collars bristling uncomfortably as low level fear caused gooseflesh to prickle skin. 

It was the feeling of a predator waiting in the leaves. Unseen eyes watching you with malicious intent. The feeling persisting even as Jon tried to look around the room for the source of the feeling. There was simply nothing to be found. The simple area they were sat in for the job interview held no unseen spector, or stalking predator. The only thing in the waiting room was a friendly secretary who couldn’t seem to care less about what they were doing as she cheerfully worked away at her desk. 

Of course it all made sense when Jon met Elias as the interview started. 

The man's eyes were wrong. They didn’t seem to fit in his face right. They stared out of his face like with the kind of alien presence only something less than human could have. And the feeling of being watched increased tenfold in the man's presence. 

He was friendly of course, and acted exactly the way one might expect the leader of a research institute to behave. Crisp, professional, and politely above it all. But Jon knew there was something wrong with the man. If he even was a man anymore with how much his stare weighed upon Jon. Each second of the interview another stone placed upon Jon’s chest, crushing them under the weight of being seen.

When Jon was offered the job a few days later, it was hard to decide if they should take it or not. But it seemed no matter where they looked there wasn’t any way of researching the supernatural that wasn’t either a massive waste of time, or extremely ill advised and dangerous. Or worse yet, some horrible combination of the two. And ignorance was most certainly not bliss.

Upon looking further into the institute it seemed that most of the employees were perfectly fine normal people. There was a bit of danger it seemed in working in the archives for some reason. But the position Jon had been offered was in Research. Which meant if they could only just keep their head down it should be perfectly fine.

They could research the things they needed to, and get paid as well. Especially considering that money had been getting very tight lately. As long as they didn’t go sticking their nose where it didn’t belong it should be fine.

Famous last words of course. 

Within a few years of working in research Jon was offered a promotion. Although any offer from Elias was less of an offer, and more of a demand. Jon really didn’t care how nice, or placid the man acted, the veil of professionalism he wore would never be enough to make the weight of his stare any less heavy. Jon genuinely didn’t know how saying no to the man would go, especially since the former Archivist had gone missing under such strange circumstances.

Of course Jon hadn’t simply agreed without putting up any sort of argument at all. They didn’t want to get on Elias’s bad side, but they didn’t completely lack a spine. They’d tried to very politely turn down the position. Even going so far as to point out that they weren’t exactly the most qualified for the position. However Elias insisted, and soon enough Jon buckled under the pressure. Elias showed far more skill than Jon ever could in the polite back and forth war of office etiquette. 

Of course when Jon did eventually accept the position, they felt twice as foolish when Elias seemed so exceptionally pleased with himself.

At least Jon got to bring Sasha and Tim?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed!


	3. Criminally Disorganized

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon gets their first look at the archive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to chapter 3!  
> Not much to this one really, but it was fun to write so,,, yeah

It was funny, Jon thought, that they’d never actually been to the archiving floor before their promotion. And of course by floor they meant basement. It seemed that for someone to be The Archivist, they should have at least have been into the archives right? Even just to stop in for a brief moment, maybe grab a stapler. It just seemed to them a good prerequisite for running the entire department. 

However Elias obviously didn’t share this belief, as he’d politely cornered Jon into accepting the role, before they’d ever even set eyes on the place. 

Because despite the fact that the research department was the one that decided which statements got sent down to the archive in the first place, Jon simply hadn’t had the occasion to go down there. Especially with all the strange workplace rumors Tim had told them about the place. Which up until now they hadn’t believed.

Which meant that the first time that Jon walked into the Archives was just after having been very politely, and subtly strong armed into the position of Archivist. 

Elias offering to take Jon down for a brief tour after having just accepted the position. To say they were shocked by the state of the place as they descended the stairs was an understatement. 

They could hardly believe that this was the archives. See, Jon would be the first to admit they occasionally had a bit of a problem with collecting things. So they could genuinely say that clutter wasn’t really something that bothered them too much. This though, went beyond any sort of clutter, or mild haphazard organization. This was a war zone in disguise as an archive. Or perhaps the paper representation of what a tornado was like.

Papers, and boxes were stored anywhere and everywhere, seemingly with no overlying method, or thought beyond being there. There were even files thrown onto the floor, or seemingly shoved into desks like they were something being clumsily hidden. Jon could legitimately say that they’d never actually seen anything so horrible disorganised in their entire life. 

Elias simply looked at the state of things with an air of mild displeasure and a hint of disdain. Before saying some meaningless reassurance that he was sure that Jon would have the place looking better in no time. 

Jon could only nod in muted horror, each look around revealing a more and more overwhelming mess. Only pausing their moment of horror to nod vaguely in acknowledgement as Elias excused himself back to his office. 

Jon couldn’t help but once again reassess every choice that had ever led them to this point. They didn’t even know what an Archivist did, let alone how it was even possible to fix this mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!  
> I promise I will get into actual plot soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> Thank you for reading  
> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!  
> Or even if you just want to talk about The Magnus Archives, it's literally all I think about now.
> 
> Also please don't come after me for ooc and canon divergence, I know. I am simply vibing :)  
> oh and also also I'm at ineverwritebutwhatever on tumblr too if you wanna stop by.


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